Getting ready for your first date can be quite daunting, especially if you’re keen on making a lasting impression. The tendency for you to overthink this part is almost always a guarantee, but try to cut yourself some slack.

Focusing on yourself and the present–instead of what could go wrong–can help you gain a better sense of control over first date anxiety, says sex and BDSM educator Kim Pham.

“Sometimes I find it’s best to try and shake yourself from these cobwebs, and physical movement can be a great way to do this,” she suggests. “Before every date, I crank up some tunes and dance to 1-2 songs while getting ready. This movement and joy really forces me ‘back into my body’ and gets me out of my head, which can be my biggest saboteur going into a first date.”

Whatever it is you end up doing on the first date, one thing’s for sure: It’s not going to be perfect. And that’s okay! However, you can do your best to create an experience that will really let you and your date’s authentic personalities shine.

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