Busting the Most Harmful Happiness Myth

As someone who writes and speaks about happiness pretty much all the time, I speak and write often about what factors contribute to and what factors detract from happiness and health and wellbeing.

In addition, I frequently spend a lot of time speaking and writing about the many myths and misconceptions that surround happiness; because these can also detract from or set up unrealistic expectations about what to do or what might happen …

via Psychology Today by Jason Linder

KEY POINTS

  • We tend to be perpetually dissatisfied with where we are, even if we accomplish our goals or get what we’ve wanted.
  • A basic yet powerful way to promote happiness is appreciating and wanting where we already are and what we already have.
  • Consistently celebrating your wins, sometimes without and sometimes before focusing on the next goal, is fundamental to happiness.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that we live in a “striving” world. We constantly want more experiences, more money, more power, more joy, more success, more recognition, more followers and attention on our social media posts, more achievement; you get the idea. Unfortunately “more” is rewarded.

The “More” Trap

Those who are victim to the “more” trap often have narcissistic tendencies and seem to climb to fame. Many dimensions of our world reward and encourage unbridled selfishness from the “more” trap. In our profit-driven world, this is what companies and capitalism want: for us to feel like we’re constantly lacking so we constantly need the next best thing, and “more” of it. That way we’re guaranteed to continue spending on “more,” never feeling like we’re enough, or complete.

While it drives profit, it comes at a massive cost to our well-being. It leaves us feeling progressively emptier, trapped in a gradually rising and perpetually craving state. Every time we think we achieve something, in reality, we are likely falling deeper into a deeper and more dangerous “craving more” state.

Source: geralt/pixabay

My life is full of examples of this from my career development. In high school, all I wanted was to graduate. Then all I wanted was to get into a decent college. Then all I wanted was admission into a master’s program. Then a doctorate. Then to see my own clients (not under another entity) and make a living for myself doing what I love to do, using EMDR therapy with clients, along with teaching, supervising, and publishing my writing.

Now I’m here with countless significant career achievements, and it’s all too automatic and easy to overlook what I’ve accomplished. I remember thinking continually that if I had just gotten “there,” my dreams would be fulfilled. Now that I’ve gotten “there,” I barely hold these multiple and monumental achievements present anymore. It only took months after my doctorate posted for the craving mind not to appreciate it at all; it immediately goes to what’s next to continue advancing in my career. I know I’m not the only one. If you’re reading this, you’re likely stuck in a similar pattern…

… keep reading the full & original article HERE



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