Last but not least, if your relationship grows, that doesn’t mean you have to completely lose aspects of ludus love. As Page tells mindbodygreen, ludus love in its mature form can maintain stability and commitment, while still being flirtatious, seductive, and playful. “These are beautiful qualities that are often the very qualities missing in long-term love,” he adds.
So if you’re in ludus love, ask yourself if this is the mature form of ludus, or the immature form, which involves game-playing, manipulation, and general avoidance. And instead of seeing ludus as a static stage, he says, you can integrate it into the long-term big picture.
“When you get out of that first stage, other kinds of ‘rocket fuel’ are needed—and those include the more mature aspects of building bonds: truthfulness, transparency, vulnerability, honesty, and connection. So you lose the entrenchment of ludus love, but you try your best to keep the fun part,” Page explains.